


Nine Lives where I loved You

by Fenris_Wolfe



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: 19days - Freeform, Ancient China, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BL, Blood and Gore, Death, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Folklore, Friendship, Gay, Gay Love, Gay Sex, High School, Jian Yi - Freeform, Love, M/M, Old Gods, Reincarnation, Reversible Couple, Romance, Smut, Spirits, Sweet He Tian, Tragedy, Wuxia, Yaoi, curse, legend, mo - Freeform, old xian, suicidal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:35:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28673088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fenris_Wolfe/pseuds/Fenris_Wolfe
Summary: One Day because of a terrible mistake, He Tian was cursed by a Nine Tailed Fox spirit. Because of it, he had to go through Nine lives again and again reincarnated just to live his life through the pain he inflicted in his first life. Will his love for Mo fade with time? Will he let go of his love to end the painful cycle? Will the two find happiness again in the end?
Relationships: He Tian & Mo Guanshan (19 Days)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33
Collections: HETIAN_MOGUANZHAN





	1. I : A Stranger Instead of Wooden Rake

Long ago, back when the earth coiled and the heavens roared. Back when gods wandered and magic flourished the world. The time when Yellow Emperor, he whom loved by gods and known as the father of heroes, ruled a splendid dynasty as if he himself was deity. 

Under his rule, the dynasty prospered and Gods favored its growth. The central city became a bustling colorful haven for many, the rich bathed in gold and silver as if they were descendants of gods themselves but not for all. Not everything could be all sun shine and lack of shadows after all. 

The universe was born with the balance between light and dark, there would always be happiness after sorrow and darkness would lurk behind the curtains of light. It is two sides of the same coin. It is the Yin and Yang. It was the capital and major cities that were blessed with safety and riches. Many of the branching outskirts weren’t as lucky as them.  
Because of the Yellow Emperor’s deity like aura, lesser gods and spirits weren’t able to roam freely as they like in the cities but in outskirts which were out of reach from the Emperor’s protection, the people there were frequently harassed and disturbed by the wild spirits and gods who tried to assert their authorities and power over the region.  
Many of the people made peace with the roaming spirits by offering them small temples, first bite of the food, first fruit of the seasons and in extremely horrid situations such as drought that last for over many months making crops die and people starved, by giving blood sacrifices to the unknown gods who cursed them out of spite and boredom. 

However, since such things didn’t happen all the time, the people had made peace with their situation and lived their lives as happily as they could until the final breath was drawn and they were called back to the spirit cycle where their spirits would be cleansed and they were reincarnated into the material world as new person and embodied new identity.  
Lived in a small village under the foot of a great mountain was a young man called, Mo Guang Shan. He lived a simple life just as the rest of the villagers, spending his time working in a vegetable field, foraging in the forest and quietly passing his time on earth just by barely make it three meals a day and a bamboo roof over his head. But he was a content and peaceful person who was nothing out of ordinary except for his unusually red hair. Aside from the red long hair that he wore in a tight bun on top his head, he was just a normal young man with sharp eyes and cool face. 

Every day he would wake up at the crack of dawn, cleaned himself up and started to prepare for his work at the vegetable field which situated a mile away from his house. He would work in the field, watering, harvesting and planting till noon hit, then he would sat together with the people from farm and had his lunch. A bowl of plain rice and some vegetable side dish. After another session of plowing the field, he would head back to his house alone. Sometimes he took a longer walk through dense forest on his way back.  
Since his village was pretty far out in the wild, the forest was filled with many colorful temples for gods, offerings of fruits and meat on every flat stone surface you could find and from trees hanged colored prayer papers and bells. He would pass them without paying respect like his fellow villagers did. Not because he didn’t believe in protection of offerings. But because he didn’t find it right to be afraid of some strange phenomenon at all time when no one did anything wrong. He paid his share of offerings and he kept himself in line as to not offend the higher forces but he wasn’t the type to shrivel in fear and kow tow at the all time. 

And while he was in the forest, he would gather fire wood, mushrooms and veggies for his dinner. Sometime on his lucky day, his trap would bear some rabbits and birds which would make him full of joy. His life was simple and peaceful. Lacking in many things but he was contented. 

That day, he was as usual on his way back from the field after a tiring day of plowing the new ground. He wore a green hanfu which was faded with several seasons’ beatings and somewhat tattered brown under pants. A black sash wrapped around his slim waist as if to accentuate his lean stature. He carried some carrots from the field in one hand and a muddy rake over his shoulder as he leisurely walked down a narrow lane leading into a denser part of the forest. He whistled as he care freely went on his usual routine. 

The sun was hiding behind clouds so the weather was mild, warm and pleasant. The forest was lively with birds chirping noisily communicating each other while jumping from one branch to another in the deep green forest. Red papers were dancing in the breezes high over his head and when the wind blew harsher, the sound of bells would fill up the peaceful atmosphere. It was nice to take a stroll through places without human after all. He bowed his head and avoided some prayer strings as he kept on his journey. 

“…Oww…” a sudden sound made him stopped in his tracks. His eyes darted around to check for any danger and he tightened his grip on the rake. “….” He heard some more incoherent words from a few feet ahead of him. He thought for a minute. Should he turn tail and run? That was what a normal sensible person would do. In the first place, no one really venture deep into the forest like him. His feet took a stance to run back the way he came but his body didn’t move. What if that was someone who needed help? If he ran away now, he didn’t know when another person would come into the forest. If it was a person in need of help then he couldn’t leave them alone. 

Gritting his teeth, he held the rake with two hands in front of him and slowly crept toward the place where he heard the sound. He stepped carefully over the bushes and twigs as to not make a sound but it wasn’t really possible considering he was in a forest booming with green everywhere. He wanted to say something but truth was he was very nervous at the moment. He had heard stories about how spirits lured the good natured men and ate them deep in the forest. A deep frown set on his face and sweat poured abundant from his forehead as he inched closer and closer to the target. 

With each step, each passing seconds, he felt more and more anxious that he could even hear his own heart beat. Did he make a huge mistake? Was he going get eaten alive? Was he going to die this early in life when he hadn’t even go and see the glamorous capital in his short life? His knuckles turned white as he gripped tighter on the wooden rake and finally there was only a rose bush stood between him and the clearing where he suspected the sound came from. 

He stood still, shaking a bit from fear. Don’t be afraid. He shouldn’t be afraid. He was a man. A man shouldn’t be afraid in the face of adversity. He held up the rake high before him and with a deep roar that came from the depths of his diaphragm, Mo Gaung Shan jumped out of the bush and swung the rake with all of his force. Through his squinted eyes, he saw bright silver flash and felt resistant against his rake. But he couldn’t open his eyes; he was just stunned with his eyes closed. “What the hell…that’s dangerous.” He heard a man’s voice and a sigh and soon the resistant against his rake disappeared and he wobbled a bit. Only then he opened his eyes to see the situation. 

There was a man in black attire crouched on the ground before him. Mo finally relaxed visibly and sighed before saying his apologies. “…My apologies. I thought you were a spirit.” The man took off his straw hat and he sheathed his sword. Oh, that was what shined in his eyes. Mo watched the man curiously that he didn’t notice his rake had been cut in two. “….Ahhhhh… my rake.” He shouted when the wood handle clattered to the ground. He knelt on the ground and gathered the part as if it was the most precious procession. “Quit whining. I almost kill you. Be thankful to that rake which saved your life.” The man said with obvious annoyance in his voice. 

Mo glared at him. How rude but he couldn’t find any words to retort back. “…Today is just my unlucky day.” Mo mumbled and he stood up, dusting himself and started to turn away. “Hey wait…where are you going?” Mo looked back with disappointed eyes. “Home, of course. I thought it was someone in need of help but it’s not so I am going back.” He took a step but halted by the man’s voice. “Stop. I do need help.” Mo stopped in his tracks. “Oh, what did a great sword man like yourself need my help with?” He was mocking and didn’t bother to hide sarcasm. After all the man broke his one and only rake and now he had to get another. With no money in hand, this was going to be a headache. 

“…I am stuck.” He sounded a bit dejected which roused Mo’s curiosity. He turned around and squatted in front of the man, a bit father because he was still wary of him. The man sat back on his behind and flipped the hem of his hanfu opened to show Mo of his feet which was caught in an iron rabbit trap. Mo wanted to laugh but he couldn’t. Because it was his own trap. The trap caught half of his foot in its rusted iron jaws and there was blood seeping from the wound. “Oh heaven. How could a swordsman like you get caught in rabbit trap? I thought you guys are supposed to be all alert and stuff.” He discarded his broken rake and immediately reached out to free the man’s feet. 

A red flush rushed across the man’s face which Mo noticed while he took a glance at his face quickly before refocused on his injured feet. For some reason, Mo felt a bit of palpitation and some heat inside his throat as he worked to remove the trap. “Gah…it’s hurt.” The man whined with a grunt as Mo pulled off the claws from his feet. Considering the state of wound, Mo thought hurt was generous word. Even he was cringing as the blood came out of the wound. “Thank you. You can go now. I will handle the rest.” The man said leaning on his sword to stand up. 

“What? No way, you can do that. You need medicine and dress the wound. Or it would get infected.” The man stumbled but he managed to pull himself to his feet. Mo too jumped up a huge wave of guilt rolling in his chest. “It’s fine. This kind of wound won’t kill me.” He tried to take a step but unable to withstand the sharp pain burst out from the wound, he fell down to his knee with a loud crash. “Hey!” Mo rushed to his side, stepped over his beloved rake which he had completely forgotten. He grabbed the man’s arm and tried to support him. “You can’t even take a step. How are you going to get out of the forest? Plus, it is getting dark. Without knowing the way, you will be lost here.” 

Mo started to pull the man up while shooting his mouth off. “And who knows what will happen if you spend a night here in the forest? Mr. Swordsman, here is not like your capital. Spirits are everywhere.” Mo didn’t realize that the man was looking at him intently and instead of listening to his words, he had a smirk across his face. “Are you this helpful to everyone?” He asked as Mo threw his arm over his shoulder and groaned as he strained to carry the man. Mo casted a side glance at the man. Since he was supporting him, their faces were so close. 

Only then Mo realized the swordsman in the dark clothes was strikingly handsome. His heart gave a squeeze as he took in the whole appearance into his mind. He had black long hair which was pulled back into a high pony tail with a jade hairpin. His pale face was flawless, not a hint of sunburn or scar like Mo and the rest of normal villagers had. Under deep set of eagle brows, his onyx eyes were mesmerizing. They were like pools of black crystals, bottomless and mysterious. He caught Mo was staring and laughed out a chuckle. “You are boring holes into my face, mister.’’ Realizing he had been caught, Mo blushed fiercely and quickly dropped his glance. 

“…I…I am not…” “…But you were. I saw you.” Mo gritted his teeth, his face was burning with embarrassment and there were butterflies rampaging inside his stomach. “Shut up, I am not.” The man chuckled. “Ok. Fine…” Mo dragged the man out of the forest with a lot of difficulties since the said man was not co operative at all. He was cursing under the breath. If he didn’t get injured from his trap, Mo would have just left him to his devices but since his conscious didn’t allow him to escape, he had to take the man back to his place. “Where are you taking me?” the man finally asked as Mo sweat profusely carrying him. “…My house.” “Ho… again, are you this caring toward everyone who needs help? Don’t you think I am some kind of shady person who could kill you while you sleep?” 

Mo’s steps faltered. He didn’t think of that. In the heat of the moment, he was rather rushed in making decision but from he could gather, this man won’t probably kill him in his sleep. He cleared throat before answering. “…Well, I am not rich enough to get rob. And you don’t seem like the type to go around mindlessly killing people.” The man smirked. “Because of my pretty face?” Mo choked and almost knocked over a stone. His face was as red as his hair. “…What…what are you saying? I don’t think you are pretty. Shut up.” “Is that so? But I think I am pretty handsome though.” He said and rubbed his chin as if he was thinking it seriously. 

Mo couldn’t hold in a laugh and he let out heartily. “Who call themselves handsome…” The man was taken aback by Mo’s care free but cheerful laugh but soon his surprise dissolved into a warm smile which Mo missed to see as he was keenly looking at the ground. “…I am Tian, He Tian.” Mo stopped and glanced at the man, his face still pink from previous remark. “…I am Mo Guang Shan…” The two fell into silence as they headed out of the forest. Mo pointed a few hundred feet away on the other side of a shallow pond where his small hut sat. “My house is just there. Hang on.” 

He Tian didn’t say anything as they walked down a muddy road. The hem of his black robe was splattered with mud and both of their feet were the same dirtied. Together the two headed to the small hut exchanging words here and there. The whole time, Mo felt palpitations and hot flushes as if he was coming down with a case of fever. He mentally made note to drink a hot cup of ginger tea as soon as he got back. “Hey…” “What? Is it painful? We are gonna be there soon, hang in there.” Mo said gathering his strength to make past the last few yards. Why was this guy so heavy? It was like carrying three sacks of rice. 

“That trap was yours, wasn’t it?” Mo made a gasp and bit his inner cheek, not making eye contact. “I knew it….” The man then let out a chuckle which made Mo puzzled. “…I am sorry….I didn’t think someone would stupidly get caught in rabbit trap…” he mumbled the words with a soft voice but since they were very close, He Tian heard it all. Instead of getting angry, he found it too funny and wanted to tease him more. “What is it?” Mo shook his head. “Nothing…that I am sorry you get hurt.” He Tian nodded. “Yea. Hah….my feet are so painful. I think I am going to have to rest for three months.” 

Mo’s eyes widen. “What? Three months. No way it will take that long to recover. I think it will be like a week or so…” “Are you trying to avoid responsibility, Mo Guang Shan?” “No, I am not…” He Tian locked his arm tightly around Mo’s shoulder and cheerfully announced. “It is decided then…I will be troubling you for three months, Brother Mo Gaung Shan. Let’s get along.’’ Mo was extremely flustered. “Hey, listen to me…I mean…” “Let’s head home quick, brother. It’s getting dark.” Mo wanted to protest but before he knew it he was the one being dragged back to his own house. 

“Let’s go. Let’s go.” He Tian chanted as if he was a kid while Mo tried to peel off his arms from the shoulder. “Wait a minute…Look here, He Tian. Hey, He Tian! Listen I say…” The two struggled to get to the small bamboo hut under the feet of mountain and by the time, they arrive, the sun had already lazily leaning on horizon. The whole sky was orange and purple iridescent with flocks of birds headed back to their homes in the background. 

That was where the two destinies entwined into one… This was the start of a long journey.


	2. I : THE BRUTAL WINTER

There was a time on earth when the rain gods danced in the clouds. Their flimsy silver dresses flowed as if thousands of diamonds scattered across the sky and the jewels they donned on their slender bodies sparkled with each flick and fold of their hands. 

And once the rain drops hit the earth the mirage of spirits tormented to wander the material world wept in agony and longing. To soothe the poor restless creatures, the earth embraced them in its arms. Some found liberation and became one with the earth. Others dissolved into consistent droplets of rain, never again to walk lonesome again for they disappear into seven colored rainbow, bridging beyond to the nether world. 

A little over a month had passed since He Tian started to live in Mo’s house and the weather was starting to get cold. The top of mountains disappeared behind armies of fog. The cold wind that bellowed down the mountain side brought chill and frost to the scattered villages resided at its foot. 

Not being a fan of cold weather, Mo Gaung Shan’s mood was dark with each passing day. He first thought of kicking out He Tian once his foot healed but the man had proved to be beneficial instead of becoming a nuisance. He learnt that He Tian was not a swordsman but a jack-of-all trade who wandered all over the country with nothing but a few clothes and a sword on his back. 

In a short amount of time, he had become acquainted with the villagers and people were pleased with his charming attitude and handsome face. Mo Guang Shan’s meals which previously included only vegetables became luxurious with all the food He Tian received from helping out the village folks in various chores. Even though he wanted to dive him out, the pleasure of having three delicious meals a day had refrained him from doing so. 

Mo walked to his house after finishing his daily work in the field. He put his new rake which He Tian bought him back near the stairs and headed up the hut. The smell of ginger and spice filled the tiny house. Unable to resist the growls of his stomach, he rushed to the source without even taking his work clothes off. 

“Oh, you are back.” He Tian said with a big grin as he stirred the steaming pot. Seeing He Tian’s smile made Mo warm and fuzzy inside. It was nice to have someone waiting for him at the house when he came back. It was kind of lonesome to come back to cold and empty house every single day. So this change was not so bad for him. 

He cleared his throat and plodded down on the floor near the stove. Orangey fire swallowed the clay pot; its flames licked the roughed surface, leaving stains of black soot in place. He peered into the pot to see what he was making. “It’s chicken soup with ginger.” He Tian smirked as Mo’s stomach growled loud. Embarrassed Mo’s cheek turned rosy. “Where did you get chicken? Please tell me you don’t go hunting again in the forest. I already told you it is against the rules here. The spirits will haunt you.” Mo sighed. 

If he had to say one problem of this whole living arrangement, it had to be He Tian’s haunty attitude toward gods and spirits. The first week he got here, he went into the forest and killed a deer. Mo who had always been abiding the rules was taken by shock; he had to take the dead carcass back to the forest and gave as offering. He Tian wasn’t pleased with it and he always made a fuss whenever Mo would take first bite out of every meal for offering. “Relax. I didn’t. I have had enough hearing your sermon.” “So where did you get it?” He Tian grabbed a bowl and put the soup in it. 

“I helped repaired Grandma Bai’s roof today and she gave me as thanks.” He handed the bowl of Mo and the latter eagerly took it, satisfied with the answer. He ate a mouthful and was pleased when the sweet and bitter taste spread inside him. He Tian smiled watching Mo ate without even stopping to breathe and he too ate his food quietly. It had become norm for the two to eat dinner together in silence but comfortable quietness where both enjoyed each other presence without having to voice out their emotions. The quiet life of Mo Guang Shan had become lively but surprisingly he felt more comfortable this way. 

He Tian sat leaning against the rough surface of the wall as he stared at the black velvet sky. The twinkle of each stars reflected clearly in his dark eyes as if they were pools of black ink. The wind was rough but because of the hearty fire in the yard, the cold was not affecting as much to him. The same could not be said for Mo Gaung Shan. He hated the cold and for some reason, despite working in harsh environments, his body was never learnt to tolerate the cold. 

He came out of the house wrapped in a woolen blanket, sniffling ever so slightly as he walked to He Tian’s side. “I see your tolerance has not improved yet.” He Tian smirked watching Mo shifted uneasily on the other side of the entrance and sneezed. Mo wiped his nose with back of his hand. “Shut up. I have never like cold to begin with.” He Tian chuckled lightly and opened his arms. Mo looked at him with puzzled eyes. “What?” “Come here. I will share my body heat with you.” He then winked with a sleazy smile. “Free of charge for brother Mo, of course.” 

Mo’s already red face turned a brighter shade and he slightly shifted further away from him. “No, thank you.” “Aww…don’t be scared. I am not going to eat you. Not here at least.” Mo shot him a glare but not as effective as his ears were red and he looked like a rabbit in front of a playful wolf. “You… go and flirt with someone else. I am not in the mood.” He Tian leaned his upper body forward with both of his arms supporting on the floor. A small creak could be heard from beneath his palms. “When will you be in the mood? I will wait.” Mo buried his face deeper into the folds of blanket and ignored his words. 

His dark haired guest was making the butterflies in his stomach jittery and how could he not? He sneaked a peek at He Tian’s side frame. He let down his long hair when he was with Mo instead of tying it up high. The inky silky stands enticed him so much every time his eyes fall onto them. He wanted to run his fingers through them and felt the stands slips through them like water. Sometimes in the middle of the night he woke up from deep sleep, he would sneak his fingers through them, untangling the knots and felt guilty later. 

But really how a man could possess such condescending beauty? His hand reached to top of his head where his hair was tied into a tight knot and mindlessly he released them. May be if he washed them daily, they might become as beautiful as He Tian’s? He was so immersed in combing his fingers through his red hair that he didn’t notice a pair of intense eyes on him. He mumbled curses as he found his hair was not as smooth as He Tian’s. Plus they were dark red, a very peculiar color. Sighing, he readied to tie them back but a strong grip stopped him. 

While he was entranced in combing his hair, he didn’t notice He Tian had moved right beside him and staring at him. “What…you…” He Tian forced his hand down and caught Mo’s hair in between his fingers. “You know…you look better with letting it down.” He brought the stands of his lips and gently laid a kiss on them. Mo blinked not registering the entire scene, just yet. “It is a waste to tie them up every day. Look they are fraying at the end.” “What are you doing?” Mo tried to back away but his back was already against the door frame. 

He Tian smiled mischievously and he leaned closer. “…Let me tie it for you.” Blushing so hard, Mo felt like he might explode from the heat and drumming heart beat if he let He Tian got to him closer. He pushed his face away and buried himself in the blanket. “Fine. Fine. Get away from me first.” He Tian let out a hearty laugh and he reached behind him, starting to gather the red hair. “…Really, don’t you get a headache when you tie it that tight?” His fingers run through them smoothly and instead of helping him tie it, he was having fun playing with it. 

Mo shook his head with a groan as He Tian’s fingers lightly graze his nape and they were cold enough to make him jump. “…No, it does not. Tie it back up quick.” ‘’Of course. But let me try out something new.” He hummed happily as he braided the red hair. “Look, how pretty.” He Tian was quite pleased with his own work. Mo run his hand on neatly braided hair and was surprised by the handiwork. “Didn’t know you can do this as well.” He brushed his hand over the braid with a faint smile. “You must have practiced a lot on women hair.” 

Although he didn’t want to admit it, the first feeling that passed though his heart was jealousy. He had been wandering for a long time; obviously he must have had a lot of lovers all over. He pouted and threw the braid back. He Tian sighed, not realizing Mo’s change in attitude and he wrapped his arms around Mo, the blanket and the body all together in one. “Hey….what are you doing?” The body behind him was warm and he could feel the heat through the blanket. “…I have only done it on one other woman.” He laid his head on top of Mo and looked up at the night sky. Mo stilled in his embrace.

“Who?” He didn’t realize his ask that, not before the words escape his lips. He tried to act like he didn’t but they were so close to each other, his words were clear as water to He Tian. “…My sister…” “Oh…” an obvious relief escaped Mo and he blushed deeper red. He was just feeling jealous. How could he... “I will tell you about her later. Let’s go to sleep for now.” He Tian half pulled and half dragged the bundled up Mo despite the latter’s protest. “Hey, don’t pull me suddenly. I am getting up.”

The fire out in the yard slowly died as the last wood burnt out, leaving a trail of dark smoke in the air.   
It started to snow soon. The whole world was covered in white for as far as eyes could see. The sky was gray with the sun nowhere to be found. The green fields had submerged under ice and snow; the deserted outskirts became more barren as the weather took a heavy turn. Since he could not go to work, Mo spent his days rolling in blanket, planning to hibernate but since he was not alone this year, he couldn’t do as he wished. 

He Tian still went to work at the village every two or three days and since someone was even hard working in this kind of weather, as a man his pride didn’t allow him to be as lazy as he wanted. In the noon times when a flicker of sun light pierced through the clouds and the ground wasn’t too frozen to walk, he would go into forest and gather firewood. And on warmer days, he would go half way to the fields and waited for He Tian’s return to go back home together.   
Today was warmer than the past days so he plowed the snow from the yard and headed to gather firewood. The forest was silently buried under the snow. The trees were bare, no green to see anywhere. He carried the firewood under one arm and walked toward the village. He stopped after walking for half an hour as something caught his eyes. Mo Guang Shang squatted on the side of the road where a temple for spirit was destroyed and buried in snow. Feeling the need to do something about it, he dug the snow and managed to bring out the wooden temple. His hands were stiff and frozen from spending too much time in the cold but he finished his work by making the temple looked presentable.

“Cold….” Unable to bear the cold, he put his fingers in the mouth and tried to warm them up. He Tian had told him if he wandered aimlessly, he would be frozen and his limbs would fall apart from frost bite. Even though he didn’t want to believe him, he was still afraid of it. “Such a busy body, aren’t you?” A voice came from behind and when he looked up, he saw He Tian holding an umbrella. He immediately took his fingers out of the mouth and acted like he wasn’t just doing that. “Why are you early?” He Tian picked up his firewood and carried it while he gave the umbrella to Mo. 

“In this weather, do you think there will be work?” “…Well, that’s to be expected. Even though I saved up food for winter, it wouldn’t be enough for two people.” Mo said, blowing breath on his hand. He Tian took his free hand in his and entwined the fingers together. Mo was surprised by his action but he didn’t try to break free because it was too warm to hold onto his hand. “It will be fine. You have me.” He winked at Mo and together they walked back to the house. The snow was heavy and the two men under one umbrella gave no protection against it.

“…I have never experienced this kind of snow before.” Mo said, his voice trembling from cold. “…May be the spirits are angry and they cursed the weather.” He Tian scoffed. “What?” He squeezed Mo’s hand and stomped through the knee deep snow. “The spirits can do nothing to me.” Mo rolled his eyes. “Why? Because you are all high and mighty?” He Tian didn’t reply but kept marching on carefully stepping on the ground. The wind blew harsh and hard against them. “…Because I am protected.” He said after a long pause. “Hmm? Protected? What does it mean?” Mo asked not taking his eyes off the ground because the crunchy snowflakes had lessened and under his feet, all he could feel was hard ground. 

“…What do you think it mean?” He Tian stopped suddenly, making Mo slammed into his broad back. “Oww…don’t stop suddenly.” Mo exclaimed rubbing his red nose. “What it means… I have never heard about anyone being protected from spirits’ curse. Only the blood offering can do that…” his voice tailed off into a soft gasp and he looked at He Tian’s back donned in black with wide eyes. It couldn’t be… He Tian turned around, his face was pale from the cold but his eyes were still glowing black in their sockets. 

Mo tried to search his face for answer but the same as the previous attempts he had done over time, he still couldn’t pick up anything from him. But when He Tian came closer to him and touched his cold face with his stiff fingers, there was a wave of sorrow passed through those bottomless eyes. “…My sister…She was given as blood sacrifice for the Taotie…” His words were slowly and heavy, carrying the weight of sorrow from the bearer. “I have never told you about where I came from, have I?” He Tian started to pull Mo to walk again. 

“I didn’t come from capital like you think. My village was also in the outskirts far in the west. It was cold always. You would have hated it.” He chuckled quietly as the two continue down the snowy road. Far in the distance, the dark shadow of the mountain flickered in between the swirls of wind and snow. “…My mother, me and my sister. We were a family of three. We weren’t well off but we weren’t poor as well for my father was the village head before he passed away from illness when I was nine. We had a good life.” Mo tightened his hand on He Tian’s. Not because he was scared but because he knew of no words to comfort him but held onto this lonely hand. 

“…One winter when I was ten and my sister was fifteen. She was about to get marry to her lover once the summer came but…it didn’t come to that.” He Tian helped Mo down a slope and without taking time to stand, he continued walk through the snow. “…My village had always worshipped the Taotie and every ten years there was a huge festival held in its honor. I was happy because I had never seen such festivities before.” Mo noticed his voice faltered a little. Being an orphan who had never met his parents since birth, he didn’t understand losing someone close to him. What was there to feel when you didn’t have anything from the start? But he understood loneliness. 

May be not the loss and the regrets but he knew loneliness very well. “During the festivals, the elders performed offerings. Bounties of fruits, vegetables and animals. The more we harvested that year, the more bounty we had to give. That year the weather wasn’t good and there weren’t as much offerings compare to the previous years.” “And Spirit of Taotie wasn’t pleased. There was earth quake and land slide for weeks. Many were killed in the process.” He Tian’s hand tightened on Mo and the latter gave back a squeeze. If he could do nothing, at the very least, he could let him know he was there. 

“To appease the wrath of Taotie, the elders decided to give a blood offering.” Through the white, their house appeared a few feet ahead, small and quaint dark green hut covered in heaps of snow. “The offering has to be the first borne of high family and we were the last high family with children at that time…” He sighed and let go of Mo’s hand. “…I still remembered that day. My sister stood alone in the temple ground, crying and crying. I couldn’t do anything but screamed and watched. Spirits of Taotie swallowed her up in the dark smoke. It swirled and swirled until I could no longer see my sister. But red.” 

“That was when I understood what it meant by blood sacrifice. The whole ground was covered in blood. Everywhere. But then…they started to disappear as if the ground had swallowed them.” He looked down at his hand. “…We didn’t even have a body to bury. There was no trace of her left. You know what the people say? Your sister’s grace will protect you from any curse forever. That we were blessed.” He turned to Mo but the smile he wore on his face made Mo shivered. It wasn’t touching his eyes. It was as if he had a mask painted with a smile on. It was cold and scary. 

“…My mother died not long after, tormented by sister’s death. And I left that wrenched place. Now you know why I have no respect toward spirits. They can’t do anything to me because of Taotie’s blessing and my sister’s grace. But I can do everything to them…” Mo’s hand trembled a bit but he grabbed He Tian’s hand with both of his hand. “He Tian…” “I can kill them…I can kill them with both of my hands…” there was a murderous glint in his eyes as the words left his lips. A tear fell down Mo’s eyes and he pulled He Tian in his arms. 

“What…” “You must have a hard time being all alone. I understand your feelings. I do, He Tian.” He Tian hesitantly wrapped his arms around Mo and he dropped his head in crook of Mo’s neck. He didn’t think Mo really understood his feelings but he decided to bask in this warmth that was given to him, full of love. His heart felt a lot better after telling the whole story to Mo. For some reason, whenever he was beside Mo, the pain he felt was a lot less than when he was alone. The two stood like that for several minute, He Tian silently hanging on Mo while Mo patted his back as if he was a little kid amidst the falling snow. 

“…I am freezing…” He Tian finally said after what seemed like a long time. Realizing their situation, both of them let go of each other, a bit awkward. Mo was red both from embarrassment and cold and he covered his face in his palms, silently screaming. Why did you hug him? He Tian let out a breath, a cloud of cold air formed near his face. “…Thank you…” Mo looked up, sniffling and saw a warm smile on He Tian’s face. The smile that made his heart beat fast the first time he saw it. The smile that was now making warmth spread from his chest. 

He turned away hiding his blush. “…It’s nothing…” He Tian leaned closer to him and whispered. “I will let you hug me all night tonight. As thanks.” Mo pushed him and ushered him to go inside the house. “Stop being such a flirt. Go away. Go…” He Tian laughed heartily and walked lazily toward the house with a pile of firewood tucked under his arm. Mo stood watching the man’s back in a daze. He didn’t know the man who seemed that carefree was carrying that much burden on his shoulders. Compare to him, he who didn’t know anything except his daily life, He Tian had experience and suffered a lot. Somehow he wanted to share that burden. No matter how little it may be he wanted to make his load less heavy. 

Clenching a fist over his chest, Mo Gaung Shan felt feelings similar to that of a kin, that of a brother in arms and that of a lover all in one. He didn’t want to let this warmth and feeling go. He didn’t want to be empty and alone again…But the man was leaving after the winter…He would leave him when the time came… As he started to feel miserable, he slapped his face hard. A red hand print appeared on each of his cheek. He needed to get it together. He must. Gritting his teeth, he stomped toward and the house.

All of a sudden, Mo felt a thump as he sunk lower. Before he realized, the ground under his left feet gave away and the leg sunk into the ground with a loud crash. “Ah!” Mo’s sudden shout alarmed He Tian and he immediately run out of the house. “Guang Shang, what happened?” He rushed toward Mo who was writhing in pain as the ice stabbed his leg. He Tian pulled him out and carefully he managed to free Mo’s leg from the hole. There was huge gash on his calf which was made when it went down and stabbed with ice. 

“It’s bad. Guang Shang, hold on to me. I will carry you.” He Tian hooked his arms under Mo’s legs and he carried him bridal style. Mo was too much in pain, he didn’t make any protest. He hanged on to He Tian’s shoulder and bit down his lips till it bled to prevent any voice from leaking. The two rushed into the house, to seek treatment. 

The ground in front of the house was crimson red. As if rubies scattered in the sea of pearl, the red blood pooled in snow and ice. But soon they too were melted and swallowed by never ending shower of snow. 

The winter was brutal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its me again. I am glad to see people like the opening. Legit scared to be honest as I am battling with my usual emo phase. Is my writing enough or not. Never ending struggle.  
> Explanation time:  
> " Taotie are one of the "four evil creatures of the world". In Chinese classical texts such as the "Classic of Mountains and Seas", the fiend is named alongside the Hundun (混沌), Qiongqi (窮奇) and Taowu (梼杌). " From Wiki.   
> in the page, it is said that Taotie is a creature of greed and gluttony. I try not to include too much history but research is always needed. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this. I will see you in next one real soon.   
> XOXOXOXO


	3. I : The last and first gift

“I curse you…I curse you…” The white haired woman screamed as she hugged the body of a red fox in her hand. Blood soaked her white satin dress creating a stark contrast against the entire white world surrounding her. Her slanted eyes were glowing red as tears in the color of crimson red trickled down her pale cheeks. Sharp fangs could be seen as she howled and wailed for her dead lover. 

He Tian stumbled back on his feet. He couldn’t move a muscle but just kept staring at the heart wrenching scene unfolding before him. His hands trembled as he gripped tight on the murder weapon. It wasn’t his intention to kill a spirit even though he had a grudge against them. It wasn’t his intention at all but even if he were to say the truth, it wouldn’t matter much. 

What done was done and there was no way to reverse the situation now. He sucked in the cold air as the throat begun to dry but the icy breath did more harm than good. It scratched his throat and painfully expanded the lungs inside. He Tian wasn’t in the best condition either. He had been wandering in the icy forest for hours without taking a rest or anything to eat and drink. His face had taken bluish pale color and his lips cracked bitten by the frost. He wouldn’t have been here on his own if not for this snow storm which seemed not going to stop for eternity. 

He tried to flee the scene by slowly moving backward but the sound of his foot crunching on the brisk branches had drawn the white fox spirit attention back to him. As he was watching, the woman floated toward him with speed so fast he thought he saw her doppelgangers lining up behind her in vague shadows. Sharp claws extended toward him and he was lifted into the air in a matter of seconds… As the air was squeezed out him by force, He Tian’s eyes rolled till only white remains. I am so sorry, Guang Shan…seem like I won’t make it back…

How he wished he could see the red head for one last time before he closed his eyes. How he wished he could feel his warmth in his arms. How he wished he understood these feelings he had inside his heart and could announce them to Mo Guang Shan. It was too late now…He would die here…he would leave without telling him how he felt. He Tian, you are a fool. He closed his eyes and stopped struggling, surrendering to his fate. Maybe in next life…may be….

A week ago……

It had been three days since Mo fell and cut himself on ice. At first, He Tian didn’t realize how bad the cut was since Mo insisted he would take care of it himself. He was told it was only a scratch when in reality, the cut was so deep and torn his muscles down to the bone beneath. He Tian was surprised to see Mo wasn’t waking up as usual on icy morning and he went over to wake him up so they could have breakfast together. Only to find, Mo unconscious in his sleep with high fever and mumbling incoherent words. 

That was when he found out, the real condition of his wound. The wound was starting to fester and it was giving Mo a terrible fever. He Tian tried to wake him and help him with everything he could but the fever didn’t reduce instead it had taken a bad turn. Mo was too much in pain and delirious in high fever, he trembled and whimpered in his sleep. He Tian was helpless. He had no knowledge of medicine and the house had nothing, no medicine and the food was running out. Outside, the world was under mercy of snow storm, no light shone, no birds sang, no green sprouted. It was as if there were only two of them left in the world. 

But since Mo’s condition was worsening, He Tian decided to go to the village and asked for help. Since neither of them had enough money to buy winter attire and Mo forbid him from hunting animals, he had nothing to protect himself against the harsh dagger like wind. But still he headed out into the hazy world of white, bearing the cold, the frost and the pain. If he could save Mo then it was enough. Nothing mattered. He didn’t know he had become so attached to the red haired man.

Even though the time they spent together was short, he felt as if they had known since childhood. There was a kind of warm feeling inside his chest whenever they sat down side by side or lie on their thin blankets and stared at the dark sky through the gaps of the roof. Those little moments made him happy and to think he once thought he would wander the earth without finding anyone to love and care for. This red haired man had proved him wrong. 

Even though his effort was formidable, the result was pitiful. No one wanted to risk going into the torrents of snow storm and every single one turned him down. He Tian felt the despair he thought he would never felt in his life once again. He was helpless. He couldn’t do anything to save the people matter to him. It was happening again. After turned away by the whole village, He Tian retraced his steps back to the mountain, both body and soul defeated. He was going to lose another person again. Just like he lost his mother and sister. His eyes stung but if tears were to fall, they would all be frozen in a matter seconds in this weather. 

For next three days and night, He Tian sat beside Mo’s feverish body, feeding, cleaning and taking care of his wound. He didn’t get a wink of sleep, he didn’t dare to. He was worried if he closed his eyes, he wouldn’t see Mo when he opened them again. He held onto Mo’s hand and brushed his lips over the bony knuckles. He wanted more time with him to laugh, to eat together, to argue and to share the rest of his life with him. He closed his eyes holding onto Mo’s hand. “If any of the gods or spirits were listening, please…please don’t take him away from me.”His tired eyes never left Mo’s closed ones, not even when he was too tired, his eyes would turn red and tears fell. He waited beside Mo’s feverish body.

The next morning, Mo’s eyes fluttered open. Through his hazy vision, he saw someone leaning over him, touching his cheeks and forehead. He tried to speak but there was little strength in him. He lifted his hand and touched the hand on his face. “Guang Shan? Guang Shan!!! You wake up. Oh, thank god. Thank god. I thought I lost you.” Hearing He Tian’s frantic voice, Mo’s lips stretched into a faint smile and he tried to speak again. “Wait, I will give you some warm water.” 

Mo felt he was lifted gently from his back and pulled into a warm embrace. He leaned against the sturdy chest which was warm under his cheeks. The steady drums of He Tian’s heart soothed him as he pressed against his chest and lulled himself to sleep. “No. Don’t sleep. Don’t. Here drink some water.” He was shook to wake up and something warm pressed against his lips. He wanted to protest that he just wanted to sleep and nothing else but he was in no position to make demands. Soft touch on his lips…soft? 

Mo blinked several time to clear his vision and once it cleared what he saw was a pair of clear dark eyes staring back at him. He Tian smiled at him as he licked his lips. “Princess. You scared me to dead.” Mo was still trying to process what was happening. Why was he giving him water by his mouth? He touched his lips as the warmth still lingered tenderly. He Tian smirked as he eased him down on bed again. “To think my first kiss was with you. You have to take responsibility, Mo Guang Shan…” Mo’s face was dark red from both embarrassment and fever. 

He Tian run his finger through Mo’s disheveled hair and played with the red strands. “I will look after you Guang Shan. So please…get better soon.” Mo felt a thump inside his chest when he heard the words. Slowly nodding his head, he covered his hand over He Tian’s and smiled at him. He Tian had never cried in his life. Since his sister died, he had never cried. Not when he was bullied by village kids, not when his mother took her own life, not when he was left alone in the world. But seeing the smile on Mo’s thin face, he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. Like a broken dam, they came brawling out with a fierce force which made Mo surprised in his sleep. 

“I don’t want to be left alone again. I can’t…I can’t lose you.” His voice was as soft as whisper as he lay next to Mo and hid his face in Mo’s hair. Mo’s heart hurt, more than his wound and fever did but he was not sure what he should say, so he wrapped his arms around He Tian and patted his head. He Tian squirmed in his embrace but soon stopped, buried himself in Mo’s chest. The two laid in each other arms, feeling the warmth from their hearts, separated from the rest of the world by the thick veil of ice swirling all around them. 

The weather was getting worse with each passing day and since they didn’t have any means to find food, their rations were running out. He Tian sighed as he poured the porridge in a bowl. It was the last of their food and even though he only ate a meal a day to save the rations, it still run out fast. Mo had gained conscious these days and he could speak more but he still could not move from the bed and the fever rose from time to time. He Tian walked beside Mo who was staring at the roof with so much focus he didn’t realize He Tian came inside. 

He Tian smiled and touched his cheeks, startling the latter. “What are you looking at?” Mo smiled at He Tian but it slowly dissolved into a sad one as he watched He Tian blew on the bowl and gave him food. “How about you?” He asked not taking the bowl. He Tian smirked care freely as he held Mo’s hand and placed the bowl in it. “I already ate. A sick person shouldn’t worry about others. You just get better quick. I am tired of doing all the house work.” He pouted with a smile and pushed the bowl to Mo’s mouth. Mo smiled at his words and with a sigh, he slowly ate from the bowl. He Tian leaned his head on knuckles as he watched Mo with a satisfied smile. 

“I am going to…um…to the village for a bit later. We need to stock up on food because the storm is not ceasing.” Mo looked up from the bowl and placed it in He Tian’s out stretched hands. “…Are you sure? It’s not safe.” He Tian jumped to his feet and patted Mo’s head before leaving the room. “I know my way around by now. Don’t worry. Go back to sleep. We will have dinner together after I come back.” Mo’s brows were drawn into a tight knot as he watched He Tian’s retreating back. 

“Be careful.” He Tian raised his hand to gesture that he heard it and disappeared into the kitchen. “…Be sure to come back…” he said in a whisper as he stared at the empty space before him. Something was heavy on his heart. Please gods and spirits, keep him safe. The roof creaked as the wind rattled against its titles. Through the gaps above, he could see nothing but white…endless white. 

Back to the present….  
He Tian’s face turned blue and he gasped for air painfully as the sharp claws of the fox woman dug into his skin. Fitting end for someone like him, he thought through the distorted vision. What kind of lies about Taotie’s protection? All the village elders just wanted to sacrifice his sister for their gain. There was no such thing as protection. Sprits were horrible existence. 

Just as he was about to lose conscious, he heard a loud scream from the woman and as if she was thrown back by a tremendous force, she flew backward and landed in a heap on the ground. He Tian too fell to his knees and he coughed and wheezed holding onto his injured neck. What just happened? He looked at his hands but there were nothing. There weren’t anyone in the forest beside them. He scrambled onto his feet and hugged himself against the wind. 

“…You have god protection?” the spirit’s voice echoed sharply around him as she too stood back up on her feet. He Tian took a step back as she growled at him. Is this for real? He Tian thought checking his body and hands. No, there was still nothing on him. “…I am really sorry. I didn’t mean to kill your husband. I thought he was just a wild fox. I…I needed something to eat. In this weather, I am running out of food. I am starving and I have a sick person to take care of. That’s why I committed this crime. I deeply apologizes.” He got down to his knees and kow tow three times sincerely, hoping his true intentions were understood. 

There was silence in the air for several minutes, only the falling snow and whistling of wind could be heard. “…My husband…My husband……we lived peacefully on this mountain for centuries…we never hurt anyone…We were always together…Humans are greedy…they did this to him. YOU DID THIS TO HIM.” Her blood tears had soaked her body and clothes completely and the howl she let out was so heart wrenching and so powerful the whole mountain shook. He Tian covered his ears and crouched down. Piles of snow fell onto him. 

The woman wobbled on her feet as she walked back to her husband’s dead body. She knelt down in the snow and hugged the body so tenderly in her arms. She rubbed the red fur back and forth, smiling and crying as she placed kisses on the body. He Tian with the help of nearby tree, he stood up, dusting off the snow from his body. The back of the woman seemed so familiar to him. It was broken, lonely and desolated. Just like he was when he lost his family. He did a terrible mistake…he knew now. Although he hated spirits, this fox spirits did nothing to him. They were innocent and they were killed by his hands. He should have listened to Mo and never hunted in the first place. 

Suddenly the woman stood up. Her white hair whipping around her body like tentacles and with a sharp creaking noise her neck twisted around to face He Tian. Sensing the danger He Tian stepped back but before he could take another step, the woman flew toward him. She stopped a few feet away from him, her head dropped, loosely hanged on her body. “…Since you have protection….I can’t kill you… That’s good…That’s perfect…I’d like you to suffer the way I am suffering now. I want you to feel the pain of having your heart ripped apart.”

“I want you to understand how it feels to lose the love of your life. And I want you to live in that pain for your whole life…” She howled loudly before piercing her chest with her own claws. He Tian saw a silver flash before fountain of blood flew out of the woman’s chest, splashing on him and entire frozen ground where they stood. She gasped and groaned as she held a beating heart in her hand. He Tian couldn’t move or speak as the horrid scene unfolded before him. She flung her head to the sky, holding the heart in one raised hand. “With my blood, my life…I will curse you. If I can’t hurt you…I can hurt the person you love the most.” 

“No…No…Please…I am the one who is sinned. Others have no business in this.” He Tian dropped to his knees and begged. He didn’t even realize what was he doing, it was just his unconscious taking control of him. All he saw in his eyes was Mo Guang Shan. Mo Guang Shan who was waiting for him down the mountain. Mo Guang Shan who gave him a place to return. Mo Guang Shan who he loved. The women laughed hysterically and like a maniac. Her voice was carried by the current of wind and it echoed throughout the mountain. 

“With the blood from my heart….with the essence of my life…I curse you, human. You will suffer the pain of your heart torn out alive. You will writhe in agony of losing your soul. You will be in pain for nine life times. You will never be with the one you love. You will watch them die before your eyes, helpless, over and over again. Until the nine life cycles are over. Only then…only then your sins of killing a mountain spirit…your greed…your ignorance…your crime will be cleansed. I curse you, human. I curse YOU!” she crushed her own heart within her palms. Blood dripped from her slender hands and once again they soaked the ground. 

But this time, they were dark, copious slime like mass that dripped down her hand and the moment they touched the ground, the snow melted, leaving giant hole of dirt which soon crumpled and shook under their feet. The woman’s body fell down as if a puppet cut from strings, she was dead and once her body touched the ground, she turned into a white furred fox. He Tian held onto the nearby tree as he watched the unfolding curse circle before him. The wind became a tornado, whipping everything out from its way and with many difficulties, He Tian rushed down the mountain. His mind had nothing on it but Mo. 

He knocked over a tree and fell on his face, a red bruise bloom on his chin and his lip bled but he pulled himself up and run as fast as he could. Behind him, the tornado was still rampaging on the cursed ground, throwing trees like little sticks everywhere. Once he reached the foot of the mountain, He Tian’s whole body was covered in bruises. His hair was loosened and had dirt in them. His clothes were torn and covered in blood. He couldn’t stop a second to catch his breath, instead he run toward the little hut in the far distant with all his might.

He run until his feet bled and his muscles trembled in pain. “He will be okay. He will be.” His cheeks were covered in blood and tears as he whispered to himself. He had to be okay… Soon the disheveled hut appeared before him, which made him let out a big sight but still he didn’t stop, kept running till he was in front of it. But before he reached the entrance, he saw someone standing before it. “Guang Shan!!...” He couldn’t express the happiness he felt at this moment. It was overwhelming to the point he felt his heart was going to burst. His muscles gave out and he fell to his knees with a big smile on his tired face. “You are…” it was the last words he spoke as his eyes laid on the person whom he thought was Mo Guang Shan. 

Goose bumps exploded all over his body and he felt chill deep inside his body. It was the white fox woman. Her white hair fell in front of her covering her whole body which was transparent as air but under the hair, a pair of red eyes glowed like fire as they stared at He Tian. There were no other features on her face except the eyes and blood tears streaming down them. “…I curse you…to suffer as I did…to lose your soul like I did…to feel my pain…You will watch the person you love die right before your eyes….in this life…next life…and the next…till you live all nine lives in pain and suffering.” Her voice was hollowed as if she was speaking through a tunnel. 

“No. Please. Kill me. Take me. Not him. He didn’t do anything…I am begging you…here, I will bow until you satisfied…” He Tian knocked his head on the ice with full force, the resonant of bone hitting the ice echoed around them. Blood covered the ground and his vision fogged from all the blood streaming down from his forehead. Still he didn’t stop. “I curse you….” The woman said the last time, not batting an eye lid at his gesture. There was sharp sound of something snapping in the air. 

He Tian whipped his head up and saw there was no one before him anymore. “No…don’t leave. You can’t do this.” He was like a mad man, yelling at the top of his lungs to every direction and had no one to answer him. Just then as if thunder hit the ground, avalanche rolled down the mountain. With all of its rage, it aimed right on the bamboo hut. He Tian’s eyes blew opened so wide, the corner of them were torn and bleeding. “GUANG SHAN!!!” his scream was so loud it could shake the mountains. The piles of snow fell down continuously determined to bury the small hut. He Tian run to the hut but knocked back by the force and he fell on his back…which landed on a rock, breaking the bone underneath crisply. 

“HE TIAN!” he heard Mo’s scream and pulled himself up but he seemed to have broken several ribs which had put him in a world of pain. He saw Mo’s figure through the red flashes destroying his vision and with sheer will power, he forced himself to stand up but to no avail. “Guang Shan! I am coming…agh…I am coming…please…” He half crawled and half dragged toward the house. Avalanche was still kept falling down, hitting the hut like wrath of gods. Mo couldn’t walk since the leg injury and he dragged his broken body as fast as he could. 

He Tian seemed to be in a lot of pain, Mo thought to himself as he whinced against the pain from his leg. He had to move quicker and because the house was under attack from ton of snow, it shook making him unsteady on his feet and fell down. “Guang Shan… I am coming…” He heard He Tian’s shout and tried to pull himself up…that was when he saw the beam above his head creaked loudly, snapping in any moments now. He couldn’t make it…and he saw He Tian was coming up to him which would be bad since the beam would fall on him as well. 

“Don’t come!” He shouted at He Tian but He Tian was already there. That moment, a huge lump of snow fall on the roof and the beam which was just barely hanging, broke and fell down. Mo saw the beam and using all of his strength, he pushed He Tian away. The latter stumbled on his feet and fell backward. With a loud crash, the whole hut was wrecked under all the snow and debris. Everything ended for He Tian in that moment. 

Although there were a lot of noises booming around him, he couldn’t hear anything. He couldn’t feel anything. He couldn’t breathe. Mindlessly, he crawled toward the debris on his knees, tears streaming down endlessly on his cheeks. His lips trembled but no words came out as he started to dig through the snow. He couldn’t breathe…there was a huge lump inside his throat which kept expanding and expanding till it hurt. His fingers were red and numb from the cold but he kept digging and digging. 

After what seemed like an hour, He Tian collapsed in front of the pile of broken house, on his side. His fingers were bleeding and blue from the cold. His forehead was covered in red; his body was bruised and tattered everywhere. He lay on his side, eyes vacant as he stared at a hand in front of him… Even after using all of what was left of him, all he could get out was a hand… He strained to hold onto the hand…didn’t know what he was hoping for but he was hoping for something. He entwined their fingers and smiled… “I loved you….you know, Guang Shan…I love you…” he wasn’t even sure his voice came out but he made sure he told him. Please hear me…Guang Shan…Blotches of dark appeared in his vision, even though he fought against them, he couldn’t… Guang Shan…don’t leave me….

The snow storm continued for a week after the avalanche and once it settled, the sun craned its head back from behind the gray clouds, illuminating the barren earth. The first sunlight hit the summit of the mountain, showering it with its golden light. Snow melted and the trees were free from icy grasp. The ground reveled in happiness as the ice was wash away, leaving its body ready to welcome new spring greens. The fields reemerged from the ice and soon the villagers too left their houses, once again rejoiced under the benevolent sun. 

Several villagers headed to base of the mountain to give their apologies to Mo and He Tian, they bear food medicine and clothing. May be they would be forgiven if they gave them these. The world had once again lavished with joy and happiness. The air was light and started to become warmer as the birds tweeted, sticking their heads out from their hideouts. But little did they know their gifts were too late. 

They found the little hut buried under tons of snow and ice and over the debris was a man. They rushed to his side and tried to help him. He was unconscious and covered in ice; even his eye lashes were frozen. He was holding onto a hand which protruded from under the snow. The villagers understood the horrid situation immediately; these two men had died from an avalanche. With heavy heart full of guilt, they tried to dig out the body from beneath the debris. With the help of several people, they were able to take out Mo’s body but since He Tian had hold onto Mo’s hand so tight, the two couldn’t be separated. 

They vowed to give them a proper burial and wrapped them in blankets and finest mats. As they were wrapping the bodies, they noticed He Tian’s eyes flutter and his fingers twitched. Overjoyed, they called a physician over and tried to save him. The physician confirmed He Tian was still alive but Mo Guang Shan had already passed away with heavy blow to his head the cause of death. But since they couldn’t separate the bodies, they decided to break Mo’s arm since he was already dead and He Tian was the priority needed to be save at once. The people took He Tian back to the village and buried Mo in a grave near where his hut used to stand.

It took more than a week for He Tian to regain his conscious. And even though he woke up, he was no longer the He Tian he once was. His eyes were vacant, he didn’t speak a word to anyone, his legs didn’t move like they used to. The fall back then had crippled him, not completely but he was no longer a normal person. The villagers felt guilty and pity toward him for they closed their doors in his face on that snowy day when he came asking help. They all turned him away and even though they didn’t admit it, they wondered would the two of them be alive and well if they lend him a hand back then. But human are greedy, selfish creatures. Even if the unconscious tormented them, they would still keep living their lives. As if having good will and conscience were enough. 

Spring finally came. The sky was clear cerulean blue with clouds sailed across it as if they were fleets of ships. Green grass covered the ground and colorful flowers bloom in bushes. The fields were in the shade of jade green and when the wind whistled pass, the crops would bow greeting in unison. The temples and red strings were just the same in the forest. The bells rung and the birds sung, peace had returned to the once tormented earth. 

On the muddy road, there was a man walking wobbly leaning heavily on his crane though he wasn’t an old man as one might expect. He dressed in all black with his long black hair tied loosely on his head. With each step, his shoulder dropped and rose as he headed toward the mountain without any one’s help. When the breezes blew pass him, his hair would scatter like inky threads. His face was pale, a large scar lie on his forehead and stubble and mustache hid half of his face under their shadows. He wobbled toward the base of the mountain without taking a rest. 

Sweat dripped from his head and his feet ached but still he kept on his pace until he reached a grave at the foot of the mountain. His onyx eyes shone in their hollowed sockets as he stared at the nameless grave. His cane clattered to the ground and he slowly dropped to his knees. There was moss covering the mound and some grass had grown over it. His eyes wrinkled as a smile broke out on his face. He touched the wooden plate without a name as if it was the most precious gem in entire universe. 

“…Guang Shan…” a hoarse cracking voice came out as he slowly lie down, leaning against the lump of earth as support. He stared at the blue sky, the light hurt his eyes. When they first met, it was this kind of sky as well, although he could no longer recall it. “I will be joining you…Guang Shan…” he closed his eyes, a smile still hanging on his lips. 

A strong gush of wind blew pass the earth, carrying petals of varying colors in its arms as its march toward the green plains. Under the blue sky, flower petals were scattered as if it rained flowers.   
Amidst the sweet silence, a flower fell on the nameless grave, the last but the first gift of its lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back! And I hope this chapter give you as much heart break as it gave me. 
> 
> Even though I already imagine what the ending will be like it was far more emotional for me because I just heard that a friend of mine has her mother passed away from cancer today. My heart is with them.   
> The feeling of losing someone you hold dear is very significant for all of us. It never leaves us. Time may heal but when we hear or see something that reminded us of it, our heart will hurt again as if an open wound. Nobody is strong but we all act as we are. I pray with all my heart that she wouldnt feel broken and lonely for the rest of her life. 
> 
> With this, the first life is done. We got eight more to go. I hope i am sane at the end of this.   
> Stay safe you guys, XOXOXOXO


	4. II: That Night in Joseon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys the story continue....  
> This time, the story take place in Joseon Dynasty, once upon a time great Korea Dyansty. I try not to include too much history facts and do forgive me if i get mistaken a few facts.  
> Also I kept He Tian and Mo's name just as they are but obviously if they were in Korea, they would have Korean names but it is too much for me to make up new names and keep track so...

“….Where did that kid go? You go this way and you come with me this way. We have to find him before the Madame came back.” Several men dressed in black garments walked in haste under the dark sky. They carried torches and lamps along with them as they tried to not look like a bunch of thieves in deserted road. They passed a grand house with high gates and bright lanterns hanged on its curved roof titles. There were two guards in Military uniform standing guard at the entrance of the grand house. 

One of the black men went over to the guard and bowed respectfully. “Good evening sirs. May I ask if you see a kid with red hair come around here?” The guards looked at each other and they shook their heads. The man bowed and signaled others to continue their search down the road. “Who are these people?” One of the guards asked the older one. The man coughed and spit before he squared his shoulders and begun his speech. “They are henchmen from Lotus house down the street.” “You mean the Courtesans house?” 

The man smirked and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “Yea. I heard the whole house is full of beautiful women. And men.” The younger one blushed fiercely and covered his face. “M…men?” The older flung his arm over the younger shoulder and brought him closer so he could whisper. “Aye. The boys there are as pretty as girls themselves. All white skin, bright eyes and pink lips.” The younger guard was red from his head to toe after he heard the words from the older one. The older one slapped his back hard, a sharp noise echoed and the younger one jumped. 

“Oww…” “But…not like you and I can afford to go see them. It just fantasy land, kid. Fantasy. Now go and get me some hot tea. My hands are freezing.” The younger one dragged his feet as he tried to massage his bruised back but in the back of his mind, he couldn’t stop thinking about what the man said. Fantasy land.  
Joseon dynasty. After the old Goryeo dynasty was overthrown, upon the ruins and eons of history, it was built with the sweat and blood of Joseon people. It was a glorious and mighty dynasty where people were happy and content with their lives because they had faith and trust in their ruling king who was wise and benevolent unlike any of his predecessors. The military was strong and well verse in the art of war and the ministers were hard working toward the common goal of making Joseon a better era for the people. It was a truly peaceful time. 

Away from the capital in the north near the border, there was a large city where merchants from all over the world came for their business. It was bustling city with all kinds of people where foreign trade happened. Because of its importance in trade of the country, a major general from the King’s army was put in charge of the city where he oversaw the trade and kept the peace of the border. In addition to its importance in trade, the place was also central for culture and festivals for the merchants brought traditions and gifts from their countries. It was a city of colors, a city of energy and riches. 

There was a firework festival happening near the river bank that night and the night sky was lit up with colorful sparks and flames. May be it was every kids’ dream to watch the fire work festival but for He Tian who was 11 at the time, it had no interest to him. Since his father, the major general was stationed at this place at the border a couple months ago, he felt like his whole world crumpled. He was born and raised in capital. That was where his friends were, where his usual play grounds were. This place…was noisy and too messy for his taste. 

He tossed and turned in his bed and covered his ears with the blanket but the booming sounds from festivals reached to him none the less. Finally he could no longer bear it. He kicked his blankets away and got up from bed and climbed over his bedroom’s window. He peeked to check if there were any guards or his maids but everyone was busy with festival so there was no one to stop him. He jumped down the window and with haste steps; he headed to the back yard which was stowed away near the servant quarters. 

That place was his safe haven and a place he could call it his own and no one else. He closed the gate, making sure the rusty handle didn’t make any sound. The place had nothing fancy. There was an old well, a big plum tree which leaned over the fence to the road outside. A small house which needed repair sat in the middle but to He Tian, the house was more peaceful than the extravagant and noisy place he had to stay. He climbed on the bench and sat down with a sigh as if he was an old man. There he could see the night sky full of stars studded across its canvas without the nuisance fireworks disturbing it. 

He leaned against a title and was about to lull to sleep when he heard sound of something shuffling near him. Alarmed, he jumped from the place and peered into the yard but there seemed to be nothing out of ordinary. He stepped around the house carefully and looked for the source of the sound. He clenched his little fists and swallowed saliva to calm his nerves. He had seen his father’s military trainings and he would too one day follow his steps and became a military man but now…he was just a 11 year old boy with little to none martial art knowledge. 

He picked up a stick from the ground which was too thin and brittle to provide him any kind of protection but he held onto it like it was a mighty weapon. Soon he was close to the back of the house and he was certain there was an intruder there as the sound of rustling continued on. Should he call for help? But if he did, he would lose his hideout forever. And he didn’t want to. “…Whoever you are…I commend you to reveal yourself…” His voice was trembling a bit but he gripped tight on his stick and ready to strike anyone who makes a move. “If you don’t, I am…I am going to alarm the guards…” The rustling stopped. 

Beads of sweat hanged on his forehead and He Tian’s tiny body trembled as his pair of onyx eyes peered into the dark and narrow space like hawk. “…please don’t call anyone.” A tiny voice came from the space and from the dark corner; a boy with red hair came out. He Tian stared at the boy before him with wide eyes, still holding his stick in his hand. He had the brightest red hair he had ever seen and eyes, the color of honey. His skin was so pale and had on a white hanbok which was dirty all over. He got scratches on his cheeks and dirt on his face and hands. What a strange creature. 

The boy didn’t look at him but down at his feet and fidgeted with his hands, feeling guilty. He Tian dropped his stick and folded his arms over his chest. “Who are you? And how did you get in?” The boy wiped the dirt on his cheek with his hand but it just got bigger. “…Why should I tell you?” “What?” The boy looked away and started mumbling on his own. “Today is really my unlucky day…why did I go into this trashy place…and to get caught by a wannabe hero kid…” He Tian was peeved. The nerve of this guy. “Hey. If you don’t answer my question, I am going to hand you over to the guards.” The boy scratched his head fiercely, making the bun of red hair into a mess. 

“…I am Guang Shan. Mo Guang Shan… I am just passing by.” Mo Gaung Shan… weird name. “You are passing by in someone’s yard?” “Hey, look. There is nothing to steal here and I am not a thief. I just…need to hide for a bit.” His voice tailed off into a whisper and he looked at He Tian, troubled. “…Why do you need to hide?” He Tian asked as he sat down on a nearby stone. “…Why do you need to know?” Mo crossed his arms with his brow raised. “I am the son of Major General. I am probably the most powerful man you have come across.” He Tian said pretty proud of himself. Mo laughed holding his stomach. “…I have seen many powerful figures for your information. You are just a kid.” 

He Tian’s face reddened. “You are one too.” “I am mature for my age.” This time was He Tian’s time to laugh. “Yea, no kid speaks like that.” Mo turned red and he stomped his feet, burning his frustrations. “…Anyway…I have no time to talk with you, oh high and mighty major general son. I am in a middle of something.” He pushed pass He Tian and walked over to the plum tree on the other side. He Tian followed him close, curious what he was planning to do. Mo started to climb the tree with ease, not caring that his hanbok was becoming more and more dirty. 

He straddled the branch and looked around. He Tian was in awe with the free spirited boy. Although he was born in military family, he was raised in capital with other sons and daughters of ministers and generals, which meant appearance was important. He had never climbed over walls nor climbed trees. Jumping out of his window was the best he could do without someone telling him he should stay still and not be rowdy. Mo smirked seeing He Tian’s surprised face. 

“Do you want to come up here?” He Tian cleared his throat and looked away, tucking his hand behind his back. “Why…why would I?” Mo shrugged, rocking back and forth making the tree shook with his movement. “…You look like you want to.” He Tian stared at him straight. “I do not want to. And get down from there or something. Before people catch you.” Mo scoffed and flipped his pony tail. “…Those people will never catch me.” “Are you a criminal?” “Hey! I will let you know I am heir of Lotus house. I am no petty criminal.” He Tian looked puzzled. “Lotus house? What is that?” 

Mo looked at him surprised but soon turned into a condescending smirk. “Oh…little master, don’t even know what Lotus house is?” He Tian’s cheeks turned red. “Well, that’s because you have no knowledge of outside world like this master here.” “…Who is master? You are too rude and obnoxious.” Mo sniffled and smiled, not caring a bit at He Tian’s remark. “Whatever. If you are going then go. I need to get back as well.” He Tian said and turned on his heels. “Aww…Well…I hope we meet again although no likely. I am leaving this city.” Mo stood up, holding onto a branch and steadily crept over to the edge. 

“You are leaving the city?” He Tian turned around, taken aback by his words. “Yes. I am in a middle of running away.” “Yea, I figured that. Where are you going when you leave this city?” Mo stopped and thought for a minute. “…May be capital? I always wanted to see it.” He Tian chuckled. “Do you know how many miles is capital from here? Do you have a horse? Or carriage?” “I will figure something out.” “You are not making any sense…” Mo was getting annoyed with He Tian’s commentary and he hopped on the fence and readied to jump down. “…Just you wait and see. I will make it to the capital on my own.” 

Before He Tian could reply, Mo jumped down from the fence and a thud was heard from the other side of the wall. He Tian tried to look over the wall but on his tip toes, he could barely see the street. From the corner of his eyes, he saw a ball of white and red near the fence wall and realized it was that Mo kid. Mo dusted his hands on his white clothes and bounced on to the street. He turned around and waved at He Tian who was peering over the fence. And as they said happiness is contagious. He Tian too raised his hand a little and wave back. What a surprising turn of events. 

He Tian was about to come down when he heard a scream. Mo Gaung Shan was being dragged away by a bunch of men in black. He screamed and kicked at the men but the men carried him, secured between them. “What is happening…” He Tian run out of the courtyard and rushed toward the main gate. Were they kidnapping him? What should he do? He should alarm the guards. “Young master? What are you…Where are you goings?” the maids saw him running in his night dress but he paid no attention to them. He opened the front gate and burst out shocking the two guards who were busy enjoying tea and gossip. He was out of breath but he was alarmed. He looked around the street but there was no one there. 

“Young master…what are you doing at this hour?” the guard asked hiding the pot and cups. “Did any of you see a boy in white clothes being carried by a bunch of men? Someone got kidnapped.” He shouted at the men who were startled by his sudden reaction and they looked at each other. “Young Master….did you by any chance mean the kid from Lotus house?” “Yes! Yes! That’s him. He got kidnapped by a bunch of men in black.” He Tian was worried and shaking so much he didn’t realize his thin clothes were not ideal for cold nights. The guards laughed and the older guard squatted before him.

“…Young Master…he didn’t get kidnap. He was just brought back home by his guards. They won’t hurt him. You don’t need to worry. That kid is always causing trouble. Running away every now and then.” He Tian wanted to ask how could he not worry but he didn’t. “You better not associate with the likes of him. He is just a Courtesan’s son with bad manners. Don’t bother yourself with him.” Suddenly, He Tian felt bitter inside his mouth and he didn’t want to associate with these people anymore. He stepped back inside without a word and headed back, leaving the two guards in confusion. 

He was angry. How could they say stuff about him when they didn’t even know him? It was not like he knew him too but because of that, he didn’t and won’t assume the worst of him. He stomped over to his chamber and ignored all the maids inquiring his whereabouts and wellbeing. He slammed the paper slide door and jumped into the pile of messy blankets and buried his face in it. Would he see him again? He wanted to. 

“Mo Guang Shan!” a shrill voice came out of the spacious building as Mo knelt on the porch with the guards standing behind him. A beautiful woman who was dressed in luxurious silk robe with golden flowers came out of the building followed by several equally beautifully dressed women behind her. Her dark hair was tied high in a graceful updo with golden hair ornaments adorned beautiful on it. Her eyes which were the same shades as Mo’s were slanted and highlighted beautifully with red powder. Her lips were the shade of red rose. If you ignored her makeup and hair color, she was the splitting image of Mo.

Mo flinched at the shout and he averted his eyes when the woman stood before him. “You little rascal…how many times do you think it has been? Can you not give your poor mother a break?” She sighed and dropped to her knees before Mo. “…You know I have a banquet to attend today. Why do you keep making trouble? Didn’t I tell you to dress up and come with me?” “…I don’t want to….” The woman sighed and she pinched Mo’s cheeks hard. “You little rascal, think I am not going to punish you because I am busy? Whose gene you get to become this mischievous? I am grounding you for a week.” 

Mo tear up from pain and held his reddened cheeks. “You old hag! You are unfair!” The woman pinched his other cheeks and leaned closer to him. “What did you call your mother?” “Oww…owwww….your nails are hurting me! Nothing. Mother! Please!” Mo screamed in pain as the woman kept holding on his cheeks. “That’s better. Guards, take him back to his chambers and make sure maids give him a bath before he go to sleep. Girls, stop teasing him and get back to work.” Mo swatted away the slender hands of the courtesans who were giggling and laughing at him adoringly. He didn’t like this place. 

The nauseatingly sweet smell of perfume in the air. The bright colors of courtesans’ makeup and the endless laughter and music. He hated this place. He plodded along with the guards as they took him back to his chamber. All he wanted was a life with just his mother and him, not this courtesan house and inherit it after his mother. On the way to his chamber, he passed the peacock parlor which was built around a pond with bright color lanterns on every title and door. Under the yellow lights from lantern, the images of men were like smokes entwining each other in a trance. He met the eye of a guy who was sitting on another man’s lap and the guy smiled at him. 

Blushing fiercely, he ran ahead of the guards toward his chamber and closed the door behind him. He sat down against the door and buried his face in crook of his arm. “…I hate it here…” In the back of his mind, he remembered that kid from the yard. The major general’s son. He wondered what was he doing at the time of the night…He wondered will he remember him if he went and saw him again…He hoped he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this. I am trying to lighten the situation a bit before you know.... LoL This one will be like a bunch of short stories complied up in one but each is related to other, of course. 
> 
> I will see you guys soon. Stay safe and healthy. XOXOXOXO


	5. NOTICE

My dear readers

I know it has been a while since i update and I am sorry that this is not an update. 

Currently My country is under military coup and our internet and connections are being shut down. It has been 3 days since and the situation is a mess.   
(Yes, I am from Myanmar.)

I am under a lot of pressure and mental distress at the moment. Too much so that I cannot bring myself to enjoy or write anything. 

I hope you guys understand. 

I will not drop this obviously but I will not be able to update for a couple of weeks. Hopefully I will feel better quick and get back to writing. 

I will see you guys soon and stay healthy.

Lots of love.


	6. II: The Hearts Knew

When the sun light hit the still surface of the pond, they exploded into iridescent golden sheen that light up the air, bright and sparkling. Among the glittering mass of water, emerald colored lotus raised their heads, yearning for a kiss from the sun. Grasshoppers jumped from one green leaf to another, dancing in mid air, carefree and seemingly weightless discarding the gravity below. 

Having nothing to do, Mo squatted by the pond and stirred his reflection in the water with a stick mindlessly. He was supposed to be at dance training but his teacher had given up on him after three whole year of guiding him the basic. He couldn’t help being disorientated so it was mutual agreement he dropped it. He hit the water, making it splashed on his face and clothes. Sighing heavily, he threw the stick across the pond and watched it sank among the lotus flowers.  
Well, even if his mother grounded him, it won’t trouble him much when he knew ways to sneak out of the house undetected. Determined, he jumped to his feet. The hem of his white hanfu was soaked in water but he paid little attention to it and light on his feet, fled toward the back entrance. His red hair which was pulled into a high pony tail, bounced in the air as he run with a big smiled plastered on his face. 

Under the shade of pavilion, there was someone watching his every move. “Oh to be young.” The man chuckled as he was amused watching Mo sprinted toward the entrance with all his might. “…What are you looking at?” the lady of the Lotus mansion leaned closer to the man, her folded fan tapped the man’s shoulder. “…God! You scared me, my lady.” The man was startled by the sudden touch that he jumped from the seat, dropping his fan. “…Oh please, Shen Li. What are you looking at that is so interesting?” The woman giggled charmingly, her painted face was radiant and a real sight for sore eyes. Her red hair was tied up in a neat bun with a single jade hairpin, not like her usual extravagant hairdo. Shen Li sighed with a smile and picked up his fan. 

“A certain baby fox was sneaking out of the mansion. And his actions are so entertaining.” “That kid again? I am really at the end of rope with him.” The woman sighed and massaged her temples. A deep frown set between her perfect brows and only then the lines of age slightly appeared near her eyes. “You should not restrict him too much. He is at the age to enjoy running around and causing trouble.” The woman rolled her eyes with a sigh. “Well, he is good at that. But…” She took a few steps toward the light and stared at the serene picture laid before her eyes. “I just want him to learn skills. So that he can keep his head high among these Joseon people…You know how it is like in this society, Shen Li. It is hard for us to hold our heads high without particular skills.” 

Shen Li tapped his fan on the chin thoughtfully. His silver hair was loose on his shoulder, farming his sharp feature attractively. His deep set of golden eyes was lazy under lengthy lashes that were casting fan like shadow on his tanned cheeks. He went over to the lady’s side and sat on the handrails. His navy robe fluttered as he sat down, swinging his long leg over the other. “Well, he will learn this soon. Whether he likes it or not, so you should take it easy on him while he is still innocent and cheerful.” Shen Li smiled and fanned himself as the lady sighed and shook her head a little. By then it was a little past noon. The sun was at its highest, not even mass of clouds could hid its glory.

Mo skipped cheerfully down the market road which was busy with merchants singing praises for their merchandises and the customers bargaining to get the best price possible. It was noisy and busy which really appealed to young eyes of Mo. He watched the people with wide bright eyes, extremely interested by every slight movement of people. But the people who attracted to him the most were the soldiers on their high horses. They were clad in red with bronze armors; their helmets were high with a single red feather stood at the top. ‘’Hey kid, move out of the way! Do you want to get stomped over by the horses?” a man pulled him from his neck and dragged him to his side. Mo yelped as he crashed into the man’s side. 

The soldiers continued their patrol without giving him a glance but Mo kept staring after the horses. He really wanted to become a soldier one day. “Oi, kid. What are you doing alone?” Only when he heard the man’s inquiry, he became aware of his surroundings. He stepped back from the man and inclined his head in a bow. “Thank you, old man…” He mumbled the words under his breath before dashed away from the man. ‘’Hey!” the man called after him but within a few minutes, his red hair disappeared into the sea of people.

He Tian sat with a book in his secret place. His little face scrunched tight as he tried to read his father’s journals. He aimed to follow his father’s footsteps and one day became a general in the king’s army just like his father. Even though he was receiving training every day, for an ambitious kid like him, it was not enough. He really wanted to learn sword fights already but his father still made him continue train in hand to hand combat and horse riding. Pouting slightly, which he himself didn’t realize he was doing it, he continued try to read the difficult book. Since the place was not cared for, there weren’t any plants but bare ground before the tattered house. The heat from the ground was starting to make him sleepy and soon, He Tian dropped the books and curled on his side, fell asleep.

He Tian woke up a few minutes after. He felt hot breath on his face which was really itchy and uncomfortable. It was as if someone was breathing on him. Someone….his eyes flung opened and immediately he was greeted with a pair of big brown eyes before him. ‘’Ahhhhh…” he shouted instinctively and jolted up from his place which made the other person also jumped back in surprise. His heart was beating so fast. Thin film of sweat covered his forehead as he tried to catch his breath and watched the intruder with wide eyes. ‘’Why did you shout that loud for? You scared me.” The intruder said patting on his chest dramatically. 

He Tian composed himself quickly and sat straight. “What the hell are you doing here? Again?” his dark eyes narrowed at the red headed intruder who was shamelessly pacing in front of him as if he owned the place. “…Oh, you remember me.” He flashed him a wide smile and jumped toward him. He Tian’s eyes widened. That was the brightest smile he had seen in his 11 years of life. The way his thin lips stretched into a toothy grin, his cheeks puffed with a light tint of pink and the way his bright almond eyes gleamed as the smile touched them. It was radiant. The red head jumped beside him and sat in a heap, not caring his white robe was getting dirty. “…I haven’t told you my name. I am Guang Shan, Mo Guang Shan.” He said loud with a smile. He Tian cleared his throat and looked away. “…I am He Tian.” 

“Nice name. I have to say…you look like a doll.” Mo crawled toward him and immediately shoved his face before He Tian’s. “What are you doing?” He Tian stumbled back on his hand but Mo kept his advance and crawled over him. What was this kid doing? He Tian stared at the pink face before him and felt a slap on his cheeks. “Oww…hey…’’ “Don’t move.” Mo ordered, squishing He Tian’s cheeks between his palms. “…Your eyes are really black. Pitch black…” He Tian’s cheeks flushed and he felt butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he watched Mo pushing his face closer and closer to his. He grabbed at his wrists and pushed him off in one move. “Stop messing around.” Mo was surprised by his strength and stopped his action instantly. 

He Tian sighed and jumped off the patio. “…Don’t you know boundaries? How dare you touch someone so lightly?” He Tian scolded in a loud voice with a deep frown as Mo stared at him with blank face. “Pssh…stop being a tight ass. It’s not like you are a girl.” Mo scoffed and flipped through He Tian’s book without paying attention to He Tian. “What kind of language…Stop going through my things…” He Tian grabbed the book from Mo. He was starting to get angry with this strange kid. First he woke him up from his sleep, second he touched his face without permission, no one except his mother had done that to him and thirdly, he was vulgar with words. He did not need to take such disobedience from a stranger.

“You…Mo Guang Shan…get out of my house.” He said sternly at the red head who was lazily sitting on patio with his legs swinging. “…You are so boring. I thought you’d be interesting enough to hang out with.” Mo said and jumped to his feet. “I don’t want to hang out with you.” Mo glared at him and stomped over to him. “Humph, I don’t want to either. It is not like I thought we could be friends. Who needs you?” He Tian thought to himself what was with this kid. He was contradicting his own words. After seeing He Tian had no reaction, Mo whipped his head to the side and strode over to the fence where there was the tree he used to climb inside. 

He climbed quick over the branches and sat on top of the fence. “…It is true… Joseon people are rude…” He Tian’s brows twitched. “Hey, watch what you say. This is the general’s home. I can arrest you for blasphemy.” Mo stuck out his tongue and said in defiant, “…It’s only concern to Joseon people, not me.” “…If you are not Joseon people then where are you from? You carrot head.” He Tian yelled back with his hands on the waist. Mo flipped his hair and raised his chin proudly. “I am from Khitan. The proud Manchu descendant.” He Tian’s mouth formed an “O” after hearing his speech. No wonder, this kid looked totally different from the stone faced people he saw every day. That must be why he was taken aback by his smile. Yes, that must be it. 

He cleared his throat and looked at Mo who was still bathing in glory. “…Then…can you read this book?” He raised his hand and showed him his father’s journal. Mo stood up, holding onto a branch tight. “…Of course I can…I learnt Chinese letters since young. I can help you with it.” His eyes were shining bright as eagerly as his whole body was. He Tian wanted to laugh at his reaction but he tried hard not to. He needed help after all and he really wanted to see this kid’s smiling face more and more. “…Ok. Can we meet again?” Mo bit his lip and thought about it for a few minutes. “…Only if you become my friend.” He Tian couldn’t help himself and wanted to tease him. 

“But you said you didn’t need friend.” Mo’s face turned bright red and he stuttered, yelling from the top of the fence. “…You! Fine…I don’t want to be friend either. I am not helping you anymore.” “Wait…wait…I am just kidding. I want to be your friend.” He Tian held his stomach and laughed heartily as Mo glared at him from the fence. “…For real?” He Tian nodded and smiled at him. “…Will you come see me tomorrow and we can read the book together?” Mo’s face brightened and he grinned wide from ear to ear. “Of course. This master Mo Guang Shan will help you. I will see you tomorrow.” He waved with all his strength and jumped off the fence. “Hey!” He Tian rushed to the fence in worry. He climbed half way and searched for Mo under the fence. But Mo was on his feet all in one piece. Only then He Tian let out the breath he was holding. “I will see you tomorrow, Tian!” Mo yelled from the street as he run and waved at him. He Tian smiled and raised his hand a little as he waved back. Like a tornado he came into his peaceful space and in the same way he left. He Tian made a strange friend. 

Mo dashed at full speed through the front gate, startling the guards and the girls on his way. He jumped over a flower patch and ignored several people yelled after him. He made a friend. Since they arrived in Joseon, he was surrounded by adults, day in and out. He never had a real friend although all the girls and guards doted on him and cared for him. The closest to a friend he got was Shen Li. Although he was like a decade older than him, Mo never felt he was like other adults and he enjoyed talking with him without honorifics and polite speech. He barged into Shen Li’s room, flung the doors opened with a loud bang. ‘’Li! Listen, listen…” 

Shen Li was in the middle of drinking his tea and he almost spilled it at Mo’s loud voice. “Gosh, Guang Shan…can you please not do that?” He put the cup down and stared at the kid who happily invited himself in and plodded down before him. “…Listen, Li, I made a friend today.” Shen Li shook his head with a smile and wiped the table. “…Who is it? One of the guards? I told you, you need friends of your own age.’’ Mo pouted and slammed his fists on the tables. “You didn’t let me finish. He is same age as me. The general’s son.” Shen Li raised a brow and paid him attention after hearing this. “The general’s son? How do you even come to know someone like him?” Mo leaned back on his seat and rocked it back and forth. 

“We met when I run away the other night and I went and see him today. He is ok.” Mo smiled at Shen Li who was staring at him with passive face. “…I see. I won’t recommend being friend with such a high profile person but since you say he is ‘’ok’’, I will let it go.” He poured another cup of tea and pushed it to Mo who took it with both hand. “….Yes, that’s why, Li, teaches me Chinese letters.” “Why?” “Well, I kind of, sort of told him I will help him read a journal.” Shen Li laughed heartily at this which made Mo sulked with his bottom lip protruded. “You can only read a few basic letters so how are you going to help him read a whole journal?” “That’s why I came to see you. Teach me, please.” He held on Shen Li’s hand and pleaded him with his puppy eyes. 

“You…Fine. I will teach you. But you need to study hard or I will never teach you a word again. Can you promise?” Mo nodded his head fiercely. “Also you will need to attend all of your other classes diligently.” “Hey, that’s not fair.” Shen Li got up from his seat and grabbed Mo from his collar. “Fair or not. You are the one who asked for my help so it’s on my term.” He dragged Mo like a cat and took him out of his room ignoring all the yelling and struggles. “If I hear you are behaving badly from the teachers, I will stop teaching you all together. Is that clear?” He put Mo on the ground before the stairs and watched the kid tidied his clothes with a frown. 

“You are a monster…” Shen Li waved his fan at him and said nonchalantly, “…The monster will see you before dinner. Now, run along. Your dance teacher is waiting.” “Ugh…I will remember this, Li.” Mo growled at Shen Li who had a sleazy smile plastered on his face. “…See you later, little fox.” Mo ran toward the central building without turning back leaving Shen Li silently laughing on his own. 

A person cannot see or knows one’s own fate. The thread that three goddesses in gray weaved ties us all in a spider web. We might be able to sense the danger but seduce by sweet allure and temptations, we will inevitably fall into the trap that has been laid out the moment we are born into the world. Because of their deep connection in previous life, Mo and He Tian were brought together again after reincarnation. How many years had passed since the time of Jade emperor? Nobody knew for those who knew had all faded into history, stories mothers told their children before bed and myths the elders relay to the young. There was no one left in the world who knew the fate of the two who still bore a heavy curse even in this new era where magic was a thing of fantasy. And the two in concern, were oblivious to the fate that had clung onto their very soul and were walking on a fine line between peace and despair toward each other following their instincts.  
Even when the flesh didn’t recognize each other, the hearts knew. The tender affection, the gentle yearning and the cries of loneliness. The hearts understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... I am back for a bit with a new chapter.
> 
> It has been a month since Military Coup in my country. With Internet restrictions and nightly shut downs, marshal laws, everyday is real hell here. I cant even use social media without VPN. Since Feb 1st, there has been death toll of over25 people nation wide from police and military brutality. They opened fire at peaceful protesters with live ammunition, beat them senseless with batons, tear gas, sound grenade, water canon and many other violent acts. Peace and stability seem far away at the moment.  
> Today have highest death toll of 23 innocent people from Yangon to Myitkyina. I have no words to express how sad and furious I am.
> 
> It is really hard for me to focus and motivated with all these things going on. I had planned to write Valentine special but the plan burnt. I tried to work on both of my on going ffs but I couldnt even finish a chapter. 
> 
> I cant guarantee when the next update will be but I will try to update. I thank you all for supporting me and your kind words.
> 
> If there are any of the readers from Milk Tea Alliance (HongKong, Thailand, Taiwan) , please let me express my sincere thanks for your support for today march against CCP.  
> I pray the injustice burns out and that all of us be safe and free.
> 
> Since I cant be sure of when the next chapter will be, You can find me on twitter @Redtsumu_Onigiri. Just in case.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone. It's I the writer. As long as I can remember I wanted to write an ancient Wuxia themed story. I had tried once but it didnt bring fruit. And now I thought of writing for He Tian and Mo, our best boys. This is purely drove by my flippant desire to write a story like ff instead of a normal AU ff.  
> I am going to be writing several AU short stories in this title. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and I hope to write better in the future.  
> Leave your thoughts and let me know in comments. 
> 
> Stay safe loves. XOXOXOXOXO


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